


Dangers of Objectification

by SugarFiend



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, M/M, Mild Gore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 14:04:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11945814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarFiend/pseuds/SugarFiend
Summary: As soon as Jake had hit puberty, it felt like his life had spiraled downhill. No one liked him for who he was anymore- it was all about his looks now. Everyone objectified him, except for one person. Everyone, except Dirk.





	Dangers of Objectification

**Author's Note:**

> Therapudic writing turned into a fanfic- some parts were dramatized, but not by much. 
> 
> If this wasn't a load to get off my chest! Enjoy my first ever finished fanfic, let me know what you think of the writing, ect.

"Dirk! You're falling behind, chap!" Jake called down the rock face he was currently scaling up. 

"Not all of us were raised on a hellmurder island." was Dirk's response. Jake glanced down to see that Dirk was panting, trying to keep from falling back down. He smiled- Dirk was a city kid. Sure, he was more fit than most people raised in the hearts of huge cities, but nothing replaced actually living in wild areas where you had to keep yourself in shape to survive. Jake started looking around for any outcrops that Dirk could get to and rest on. Spotting one behind a growth of vines, Jake brought it to his friend's attention.

"Look Dirk, there's an outcrop. Let's shimmy over there for a breather, eh?"   
The subtle look on Dirk's face told Jake that the offer was much appreciated. To no one's surprise, Jake reached the little outcropping first. Which was just as well, since Dirk needed help climbing up onto it over the vines. 

"I don't know how you do it, Jake. You just keep going and going." Dirk panted. Up close, Jake could see the sweat on the blonde's forehead and exposed arms. It was rather cute, Jake noticed, that Dirk's skin always went pinkish red when he overexerted himself. 

"Practice makes perfect! Do you need some water?" He offered, pulling a water bottle out of his backpack. Dirk gratefully accepted the liquid, and gulped down a hefty amount. Jake's gaze wandered to the beautiful view that they were being treated to- from up here, they could see most of the island and the endless ocean beyond. Dirk followed Jake's green-eyed gaze to the island below them. The lush sprawl of jungle made it hard to believe that murderous monsters infested the area. It looked like a tropical paradise. As Dirk continued to survey the scenery, Jake took the chance to look at his companion. 

They had been fast friends ever since they'd met, and Jake had become painfully aware of Dirk's feelings towards him a few years ago. At first, Jake had been heartbroken. Everyone around him had started to only compliment how handsome or charming he was, never acknowledging him for anything he'd actually worked for. He didn't want Dirk to be the same. 

But Dirk didn't change. Dirk didn't fawn over Jake's jawline or toned body or anything else like that. He didn't start going doe-eyed or sappy. Dirk's compliments were always reserved for Jake's accomplishments, for the things he learned and did. 

Now that Jake no longer had to worry about that, he found himself falling for his best friend. Was that okay? Jake had sworn he'd never get involved with anyone after how he'd been treated. But now, the thought of not having Dirk to himself made Jake's head and heart burn to the point he couldn't think straight.

"Yo. Earth to Jake. Come in Mr. English." Dirk's voice cut in to Jake's train of thought. Jake couldn't stop the blush of embarrassment that crept up his face. 

"I know I'm hot shit with the sunburns and excessive sweat on my scrawny frame, but come on. Have some self control." He joked, cracking a small smile. Jake let out a hearty laugh at that- if only Dirk knew. If only he knew.

"Mr. Strider, I'm offended! I am a model of self control!" Jake retorted. Dirk gave a slight chuckle of his own. 

"Sure dude, whatever you say." He spoke. Jake was hyper aware of the fact that Dirk had scooted a few inches closer. He waited in anticipation- would Dirk lean on his shoulder? Hold his hand? Jake almost couldn't breathe. 

But Dirk did none of these things. He did not move any closer, nor did he move to touch Jake in any way. He just looked back out over the ocean. Jake was disappointed, but not surprised. He didn't even know what he'd been hoping for. 

"I don't think I can make it all the way up this bullshit cliff. So I may call it a day and climb back down. Any way I could entice you to make sure I don't die on the way?" Dirk smirked. Jake jumped a bit.

"Of course Dirk! Strapping adventurer Jake English, at your services!" He replied. Dirk fixed him with a stare that Jake knew meant the blonde was amused. 

"Color me comforted. Thanks Jake." He spoke. Jake beamed. He was sure Dirk was aware he liked to be the dashing hero, and was just indulging in that, but he still appreciated it. 

As Dirk climbed down, Jake stayed next to him. More to point out the easiest footholds and to make sure he could try to catch Dirk in the event he slipped up. Luckily, the climb down was uneventful if not long due to Dirk's slow and exhausted pace. Once back on the ground, Dirk collapsed on his back with a tired grunt. Jake smirked. 

"Mr. Strider, you aren't pooping out on me now, are you?" 

"Actually English, that is exactly what I'm doing. Do you happen to have a blanket in that rip off Indiana Jones backpack of yours?" Dirk requested from the ground. Jake sighed good naturedly and sat down to dig a blanket out of his bag. Finding the old olive-colored blanket, Jake brought it to his friend. 

"Here you go, chap. You cold?" He asked. Dirk sat up a bit to slide the folded cloth under his head like a pillow. 

"Nope, just not willing to deal with the hard ground on my skull right now."   
Jake sat down on the grass next to Dirk, and watched the blonde try to catch his breath. Thinking back to their moment on the outcrop, Jake resolved to see if he could gauge the situation with their relationship. Trying to play it off as some sort of absent-minded action, he weaved his fingers gently into Dirk's soft hair. 

Dirk, to his credit, seemed to be keeping his cool. He'd closed his eyes while laying down, and didn't open them when Jake touched him. Jake did notice his companion tense ever so slightly. Was this okay? Jake slowly ran his hand through Dirk's hair, and watched Dirk relax. Should he say something? Was Dirk okay with this? Jake had no clue what to do other than keep playing with the blonde hair in his hand. He's clearly gotten in way over his head, once again. 

After about a minute of silence (it felt like an hour), Jake simply stopped and pulled his hand away. God, his head was spinning right now. Dirk was probably weirded out, or angry, or both. Did Dirk still even like him? Had he read the mood wrong? 

"Thanks Jake, that actually felt really nice. Who knew you could scale God damn mountains and give good head massages?" Dirk cut the silence. Jake felt warmth spreading everywhere. Okay, he hadn't ruined everything. Maybe the opposite. Maybe Jake could make this work. 

The two of them wandered towards Jake's home for the night to take shelter from any monsters roaming around. 

They slept in different beds, but Jake wondered if maybe next time they could share. 

 

****

 

Dirk could hardly believe what was happening. When he'd slipped up years ago and revealed his hand in terms of being head over heels for Jake, it had felt like the end of the world. Jake had made it clear he was uninterested, so Dirk had done what any reasonable person would- left it alone, did not bring it up again. It broke his heart, but he would rather keep Jake as a friend than lose him completely. It had been like that for years. Yet Dirk's feelings didn't diminish, and it had been getting to the point that Dirk wasn't sure he could keep it up without revealing he still loved Jake. 

And then things started to change. 

After a day of rock climbing, Jake had given Dirk some hope. He'd initiated physical contact. God, if it didn't make Dirk suspicious that Jake was some kind of sadist though. 

But it had continued. 

Jake invited Dirk to stay more and more often. Jake would initiate physical contact. Sure, it was always innocent- hair touching, back rubs, leading by the hand... But Dirk knew that Jake was reserved with contact. The black-haired boy did not like to touch other people most of the time. Did Dirk dare to hope that Jake was starting to like him back? 

Even now, the two of them were huddled together as Jake explained the movie he'd put on. Dirk was trying to appreciate how Jake explained this movie and how 'I picked it out because it has horses, and you love horses!', but Dirk's mind was abuzz with the knowledge that Jake God damn English was straight up cuddling him. 

About halfway through the movie, which Dirk was pretending to be fully invested in since Jake had specifically picked it out for him, the green-eyed adventurer moved his hand from Dirk's shoulder down to his hand. Jake then closed his fingers around Dirk's. 

Okay, screw trying to hide that he was still madly in love with the buck toothed dork, Dirk was not going to ignore this new development. 

"... Jake?" He questioned, turning his head to look at his companion. Jake was starting directly at Dirk, eyes a strange green in the low light while his glasses reflected what was on the television. 

"Dirk, I... Golly, if this isn't hard to say. But I think I like you. If you still like me..?"

Dirk's breath caught in his throat. No way, no way. Was he dreaming? 

"Would you mind if I took off your shades so I could see your face?" 

Jesus, if Dirk didn't hate his eyes exposed, but that hatred paled in comparison to how much he wanted to let Jake know he was 100% receptive to what he'd just been told. Dirk gave a slight nod. Jake reached up, and slid the unique shades off Dirk's face- and Dirk was so glad the only light was the TV screen. Otherwise his sensitive orange eyes would be burning right now.

"Dirk, chap, do you... Have anything to say? I'm getting a touch nervous by your silence." Jake spoke, his face plastered with concern. He'd placed Dirk's precious shades carefully aside, and had placed his rough hands on Dirk's shoulders. 

"I..." Dirk's breath caught again as Jake weaved his fingers into Dirk's hair.   
"Jake, I never stopped liking you. I still have some pretty significant God damn feelings for you, to be honest. I have no clue how to articulate this right now though, holy shit." The words came pouring out, and Dirk was just proud that he wasn't stuttering, nor babbling as much as he normally did. 

"I'm glad." was Jake's response. The grin on his face melted Dirk's heart. Deciding that is was perhaps okay to push a bit, Dirk made a request.

"English, can I kiss you?" 

Jake's fingers tightened and Dirk couldn't help a tiny flinch- he'd never had his hair pulled before. Hell, he normally didn't let people touch his hair. Before he could voice any discomfort though, Jake's lips were on his. 

Screw complaining about his hair, Dirk was being kissed by the only boy he'd loved. The only person he'd ever wanted to be kissed by. 

Jake invited him to spend the night. Dirk had never slept in the same bed as someone else before. 

It was nice.

 

****

 

The best part about confessing his feelings, Jake decided, was that Dirk would make time for him. Sure, he did it before, but now Dirk really put Jake first. He'd drop whatever he was doing anytime Jake wanted him nearby. Yet, he still would give Jake space when he wanted it. Jake idly wondered if this would have been the case if they'd started dating when they were younger- he doubted it. 

Today, Dirk had gone off with Roxy and Jane, and Jake was wondering if he wanted Dirk to come back. He had no reason for it other than enjoying Dirk's presence. It's not like he even had a specific thing he wanted to do with his boyfriend- if he came over, they'd probably just sit around. Jake mulled it over for a few more minutes. 

Yes, he really wanted Dirk to come over. Luckily, since Dirk was so tech savvy, he's worked out a hoverboard that made getting to Jake's remote island easy. Still a bit of a journey, but it only took a few hours at most to get there. 

Jake picked up the phone, and dialed Dirk. When Dirk didn't answer immediately, Jake got worried. Normally it'd only ring once or twice. When it went to voicemail, Jake hung up and dialed again. Why would Dirk ignore him?

"Jake? What's up?" Dirk's voice cracked to life through the phone. Jake wasted no time- he needed Dirk at his house right then. 

"D-Dirk, I need you to come over." he spoke, surprising himself with how upset he sounded. It worked though, because Dirk went from carefree to concerned in seconds. 

"What happened? Are you okay?" 

Jake couldn't think of a valid reason to give. "I just really... I need you here."   
It wasn't a lie. 

"I'm on my way." Dirk replied, and Jake could hear Dirk quickly explaining to Jane and Roxy that he needed to leave right then. Being this important to Dirk made him feel like some kind of king, if he was being honest with himself. Jake curled up on his couch to wait. 

Roughly one play of an Indiana Jones movie later, and Dirk was walking through the door. 

"Jake? Are you okay?" He questioned. By this point, Jake had gotten drowsy. 

"I just... Really wanted you here." He tried to explain. Dirk's worry seemed to melt away at that, and sat on the couch next to Jake. 

"I love you, Jake."

"I know. And I love you too, Dirk."

Jake nestled into the couch, resting his head on Dirk's lap. Dirk placed a gentle hand on Jake's hip, and after a few minutes Jake was fast asleep. 

 

******

 

When Jake had asked Dirk to move in with him, Dirk had been ecstatic. Of course he wanted to live with the person he loved. What kind of idiot wouldn't? He'd packed his shit and gone over. How he'd crammed most of his shit into one bag, Dirk didn't know. He could always go back and retrieve anything he'd forgotten. 

They'd celebrated with a hand-cooked meal- which failed horribly, but Dirk didn't care much. Despite he and Jake being official for at least half a year, he still found himself completely enamoured with everything Jake did. Including botching a cooked meal. After they'd given up and heated some fridge dinners, Dirk wandered to bed. He was exhausted after moving. Jake followed him, and Dirk gave a small smile. God, did he love this buck-toothed boy with all he had. 

"Dirk, I have a question. Do you... Really love me?" Jake asked as he sat on the bed.

"Yes. I really fucking do." Dirk responded, reaching out to lay his hand on Jake's. Jake beamed at him, leaned in for a kiss, and Dirk could swear he'd gone to heaven. 

Right up until he realized Jake was pinning him to the bed. Dirk wasn't an idiot, he knew where this was going and Jesus Christ he was not ready for it. 

"Wait, wait, Jake, hold up a second-" Dirk protested, ending the kiss. 

"What's wrong?" Jake asked, genuinely confused. 

"Fuck, I... I'm not ready for this yet." Dirk forced himself to say. He anxiously waited for Jake to let go of his wrists, he felt unbearably trapped by the simple restraint. 

"Dirk, it's alright chap! I won't hurt you. I love you, remember?" Jake soothed, but instead of letting go, he pressed his lips to Dirk's neck. The moan that escaped his lips when Jake nibbled at his jugular was embarrassing, and Dirk wanted to cry. He wasn't ready for this, it was too much and he was feeling all the wrong feelings. 

"Jake, please, I-"

"Say no more, Dirk." Jake cut him off, grinning like he was doing something to be proud of. Dirk lost his voice completely when Jake snaked a hand down his pants. Yes, his arm was free now, but all he could do was clutch Jake's shirt. 

After a few minutes of writhing and garbled protests, Jake stopped. 

"Here, Dirk, roll over." He instructed. 

"No, I can't Jake. I can't-"

"It's alright chap! I love you, I won't hurt you."

 

Dirk didn't scream. He didn't yell, he didn't protest. 

He just cried as quietly as he could between the moans he couldn't control. 

 

****

 

Jake watched as Dirk wandered around the house, looking for a shirt. After a spirited round of 'Try-to-do-laundry-and-end-up-making-clothing-piles-to-practice-backflips-into', their clean clothes had gotten pretty spread around. Jake idly wondered if they'd be like this forever- a year of living together wasn't that long comparatively, but it seemed to be a good sign. 

Jake enjoyed the view he was getting of Dirk's bare skin. 

"Dirk, you look ravishing." He commented with a wink. Dirk chuckled. 

"I know, I'm hot shit with the tiny muscles and freckles on my ass." He retorted, walking past Jake as he continued his search. Jake reached out and grabbed Dirk's wrist, and was made painfully aware of the fact that his blonde boyfriend flinched. 

"Don't you trust me..?" Jake asked after a moment of silence. Dirk nodded. 

"Of course I trust you."

"Then why did you flinch?" Jake snapped. Dirk looked away.   
"Dirk Strider, why did you flinch? Why do you not trust me?"

"It's complex. But me flinching doesn't mean I don't trust you. I just flinch when people touch me, I can't control it." Dirk tried to explain. Jake could feel his expression darkening. 

"You don't trust me." Jake stated, grabbing Dirk's free arm. 

"Calm down Ja-" 

Jake cut him off by yanking Dirk behind him as he headed to the kitchen. 

"Jake?"

"There's a test I want to try. It's called a Prussian Trust test." Jake explained, grabbing a knife. Dirk held stock still as Jake held it up to his neck. He then slipped Dirk's shades off, and watched the orange eyes contract. 

"Dirk, you don't trust me. But I trust you. That's hardly fair." Jake was so close to tears. 

"Jake, I love you, but you are being terrifying right now." 

Jake ignored the statement. He needed to keep Dirk here. Dirk was his, no one else's. 

So he shoved the knife into Dirk's neck. 

There wasn't much noise. Dirk just kind of... Let it happen. Jake found himself holding Dirk's head, no body attached. 

This... This could work. No one else could have Dirk now. Dirk was his, and only his.


End file.
